*falls silent for a moment before she sighs, rubbing Danny’s back* Look at him. Because he’s been staring at you the entire time we’ve been here. Your dad made that conscious decision to be the way he is. Sam, you love Danny - I know you do. You said it yourself - you’d turn him if it meant he’d live an extra minute. When….when you want something that much, when you love someone that much, instinct and feelings and reactions don’t exist. We don’t care. We’d act irrationally if it means that person was safe and you’re like that for him, I know it, I know you are. That’s why when he was born, you kept telling Sam to be a good dad. It went against every fibre of your being, but you said it because you thought it was best for him. So don’t you ever compare yourself to your father.
*Puts his arms out to take hold of Danny and takes him from Alexis to places him on his shoulder with Danny’s head on his shoulder so he could turn his head and bury his face in his son’s scent. Stays silent as he holds his son for a while before turning his head to face Alexis again.* I know but I’m just scared. I’m scared that it won’t be enough.
Well…it’s that and the fact that he killed you. I don’t know. It’s like he’s trying to be awkward on purpose. I’d just leave it. It doesn’t really matter - I mean we’re grown ups and if he wants to be that way, that’s fine.
No, trust me. I get it, I’m exactly the same with Merlotte. Okay, I’ll talk to him. The thing is though that he’s not trying to be awkward or anything but that he’s not all that great at socializing. I’ll talk to him though.
*smiles against Sam’s back and shakes his head* No, I like it the way it is. I get to see Eric and get to be with you. Why would I want to move out? Should I need space, i know that I can have it. Should I need someone else in my bed, I know that I can. So… why would I want to move from your side?
*Grins and lets go of one of Godric’s hands so he can put the bath oils in* I just thought that you might want to be with those other people more then you want to be at my side and I just wanted to let you know, that’s okay because I love you and I know that you love me. *Lets go of Godric’s other hand to turn off the taps* I think it’s time to stop hugging so we can strip and do more then hugging in the bath.
*tuts* Sam? How many times do I have to tell you that you are a good dad? You won’t hurt him because you’d feel it. You’d know if you were and you’d stop. You don’t want him to get hurt, we both know that. He loves you. He misses you so much when you’re not there and I’m scared he’s gonna say Dad for the first time because he’s wondering where you are. He couldn’t ever be scared of you. He loves you way too much.
I know but you’ve seen my father, he’s proof enough that just because you’re biologically someone’s father doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll be a good one. I don’t mean I’m a bad one but I’m not a safe enough one either. I don’t gave the control or strength that Godric has. I killed someone Alexis. Last time I was a vampire I lost control and killed a feeder. I attacked a fae as well because I couldn’t take not drinking him dry. Eric had to drag me off of the boy kicking and screaming.
What did you want me to say? I like how your ass fits on top of your feet ‘cause it’s so perky? [grins and picks up the picture, giving it one last look before he sets it face down on the coffee table again so as not to tempt him] I know you’re healthy kiddo, you’re a vampire. [takes the bottle and opens it before sipping a little] I’m talking about how your doin’ up in that big ol’ brain of yours since you turned again.
[hangs his head and covers his face with his hands] Oh god, no, not that. [shakes his head in shame before lowering his hands] So not helping with what we’re not suppose to be doing. [sits back and starts picking at the threads on the sofa] Well I’m better in some areas, worse in others but me and Godric are doing great, told him he can move out now if he wants and that we can have an open relationship again. Going to start looking after Danny again but honestly, that scares me. I stopped the bagged blood though. I’ve started purely drinking Tru Blood now, hoping it’ll help stop any accidents like last time.
*gently strokes over Sam’s stomach* You have tamed me so much. I must say that it surprises me a little. Dean would say I am turning from a wild tiger into a house cat. *chuckles and rubs his nose against Sam’s back* Not that I mind.
*Smiles and rubs Godric’s hands with his thumbs* Yeah? You sure you’re okay with that? Well I was trying to figure out a way to tell you but I’m really happy too. Happier with us. I trusted you but now I know how you feel about me and I feel safer so if you want you can move back to the vampire house and we can go back to being open again.
*smiles and nods* Sure! Sure! That’s…that’s perfect! You can have him, Sam, that’s fine! I’ve…been trying with Godric. He’s been acting weird with me. I kinda…walk away from that situation.
I know you have just like I do with Merlotte but it’s hard. Harder then it is with Danny and anyone else. I think it’s just because we know they both mean so much to each other that we’re scared of the impact that person could have on Danny’s life. *Frowns* Weird? Like what? I’ll have a word with him if you would like because he is trying with you too but he’s finding it hard because he knows how you feel about him.
I thought exactly the same and you told me not to worry. Children get hurt. He likes to try to eat the mud cakes he makes when I’m gardening. The point is, these are normal experiences you go through when you’re a kid. I can’t remember the amount of times I’ve banged my head. He’s robust - stronger than you think. And he’s smart - he moves to get himself out of danger. Let him try, okay? He’ll never learn if he never gets to try.
I know. I know this all seems stupid. Someone asked me earlier if I would turn Danny and I said if he was old enough and unable to be saved and it’s just got me thinking and worrying. He’s my life and we have no idea how to do this whole magic thing and there’s Lucifer and he’s growing up. What about if we have an argument and I just hold him too hard or loose control or if someone gets to him. I just wish I could protect him better and not be the one that he needs protecting from.